I had this posted on my other blog, and I just ran across it, so I decided to share it on this one. Plus, I am still being lazy and unoriginal in my writing lately.
“Here is the creed for the modern thinker. We believe in Marx, Freud, and Darwin. We believe everyone is okay, as long as you don’t hurt anyone to the best of your definition of hurt and to the best of your definition of knowledge.
“We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage. We believe in the therapy of sin. We believe that adultery is fun, we believe that sodomy is okay, we believe that taboos are taboo.
“We believe that everything is getting better despite evidence to the contrary. The evidence must be investigated and you can prove everything with evidence.
“We believe there is something in horoscopes, UFO’s, and bent spoons. Jesus was a good man just like Buddha, Mohammed, and ourselves. He was a good moral teacher, although we think basically his good morals were really bad.
“We believe that all religions are basically the same, at least the ones that we read were; they all believe in love and goodness, and they only differ on matters of creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.
“We believe that after death comes nothing, because when you ask the dead what happens, they say nothing. If death is not the end and if the dead have lied, then it is compulsory heaven for all except perhaps Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Kahn.
“We believe in Masters and Johnson, what’s selected is average, what’s average is normal, and what’s normal is good.
“We believe in total disarmament. We believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed. Americans should beat their guns into tractors and the Russians would be sure to follow.
“We believe that man is essentially good, it’s only his behavior that lets him down. This is the fault of society, society is the fault of conditions, and conditions are the fault of society.
“We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him and reality will adapt accordingly. The universe will readjust, history will alter. We believe that there is no absolute truth except the truth that there is no absolute truth.
“We believe in the rejection of creeds and the flowering of individual thought.
“If chance be the father of all flesh, disaster is his rainbow in the sky, and when you hear ‘State of Emergency!’ ‘Sniper Kills Ten!’ ‘Troops on Rampage!’ ‘Whites go Looting!’ ‘Bomb Blasts School!’ It is but the sound of man worshipping his maker.”
– A satirical poem by Steve Turner, as relayed by Ravi Zacharius
It is kind of weird how some of this is true though, isn’t it?